Should I Also Lend Them A Hand – Hasegawa Souichi
──The door to the library room was right in front of me. It was a faintly colored sliding door, with cracks in the paint starting to show from its age.
Usually, I wouldn’t pay any attention to it. It was just a wooden slab that I’d open and close without being aware of it.
However, for some reason it seemed much heavier now.
“… Ughh, I’m so nervous. Actually, I feel like I’ve felt this way before.”
I muttered to myself, as I listened to the track and field team’s voices echoing throughout the schoolyard.
I felt like this happened before when I first discovered Misuno’s stream two to three months ago…
Although… in terms of how awkward things were, this time would easily take the crown. I seriously didn’t know how to face the girl that rejected me last week…
While I was thinking that, a bell echoed throughout the school building.
It was about time for library duties to begin. I couldn’t keep standing here forever.
“Alright, I’ve prepared myself. Here I go!”
After taking a deep breath──I flung open the door.
Then, I walked up to the counter as fast as a competitive speed-walker.
“──Hey! Misuno!”
I spotted Misuno there. Her eyes were wide open, as if she were surprised by my sudden entrance. Her mouth kept awkwardly flapping open and closed, and her body looked stiff.
The result──
“…!”
In an instant──my calm was shattered.
My heart started beating furiously as if it were about to fly out of my chest. Sweat started dripping down my stiff body, and my hands felt like they would start trembling.
However──I had to stay calm!
If she realized how nervous I was, it’d definitely make things awkward! That’s why, I had to start by greeting her.
So, forcing my mouth open──
“──Wassup1!”
──I accidentally greeted her like an athlete. It was a strangely macho greeting, as if I were imitating a baseball player from a long time ago.
What the heck was that! Why did a greeting like that suddenly come out of my mouth!
What’s more, the panic seemed to have spread to Misuno as well,
“──Ah! Ahhh! Wazzup2!”
For some reason, she also replied with a greeting as if she were a club athlete.
“What’s with that greeting!”
“I could say the same about you, what the heck is ‘Wassup’!”
“That’s, you know, I’m just trying to get us fired up!”
“Whew…”
Misuno took a deep breath, and dropped her gaze.
And then, in a voice that made it obvious she was trying to calm herself down, she said,
“For now… why don’t you set down your belongings?”
“… Oh, I’ll do that.”
I did as she told me and quickly set my bag down on the counter.
… Hey! The atmosphere suddenly turned really weird! It couldn’t possibly get more awkward than this!
Misuno, since you were the one who rejected me, please do something about this!
Perhaps it was because she heard my silent prayer, or maybe she just felt responsible for what happened,
“Um. Today, we need to check the newly arrived books!”
Misuno spoke in a voice full of energy as usual.
“Let’s start from there!”
“G-got it…”
Hmm… Well, she was probably trying her best in her own way. In which case, I wanted to cooperate as well as I could with her.
I headed towards the library preparation room, trying to act as normal and casual as I could, but──
“Wait, Misuno! That’s the exit! The preparation room’s this way!”
“A-ahhh! That’s right!”
Misuno was heading in the wrong direction. I couldn’t help but feel uneasy about what would happen in the future.
*
“──Then, I’ll start reading out the list now…”
The two of us were working in the preparation room.
As usual, Misuno seemed extremely anxious.
“Senpai, please confirm whether the book titles I read out are in the box or not.”
“Sure, roger that…”
I was just as nervous as her, but in spite of that, I started feeling a small sense of hope.
We were checking the new book arrivals.
In other words, we were checking to make sure all of the books we ordered were properly delivered. Just as it sounded, this work was simple and didn’t really require any thinking, so even with the two of us panicking, we still probably wouldn’t make any mistakes.
On top of that, if we at least had something to do, maybe it wouldn’t be as awkward as it was before.
Thank goodness this kind of work was available today…
“… Well then.”
Misuno prefaced, and then began reading out the list.
“‘Tales of the Restea Empire 3’.”
I found the corresponding book in the cardboard box of new arrivals,
“Restea… Yup, found it.”
I moved it to the cardboard box for books we had already checked.
Misuno kept reading,
“‘The birthplace of Japanese’.”
“Yup, found that too.”
“‘The life of V’. This is for both volumes.”
“Yup, they’re both there.”
Our work was proceeding smoothly.
Alright! There seemed to be a good mood going on!
It felt like the atmosphere had mostly returned to normal!
Misuno’s stiffness had largely dissipated, and the tense atmosphere between us had mostly softened.
Let’s keep going and return things back to normal!
──Was what I thought, but──
“All of these books I’m about to read out are part of a series. They’re by an author named Hiiragi Tokoro.”
“Got it, please read them out.”
“‘Broken Heart Detective Nanase ~The Thousand Reasons He Was Rejected~”
“──Urgh!”
──I received some emotional damage.
Broken heart… Rejected…
Somehow… it seemed like that title was written to purposely inflict a critical hit on me emotionally. Actually, what did they even mean by broken heart detective! If one really existed I’d like to consult them!
But, it wasn’t like I could stop working. I somehow managed to keep myself together and reply ‘It’s there…’
Misuno continued reading,
“‘Broken Heart Detective Nanase ~How to Forget a Kind Love~”
“Urgh, that’s also there…”
“‘Broken Heart Detective Nanase ~When Your First Love Ends~”
“Yeah, it’s there…”
Seriously, what was this! I couldn’t believe we’d get a set of titles like this at a time like this!
Just what kind of books did we order!
All of the books in this series had titles designed perfectly to cause emotional damage to me!
“What’s wrong?”
As expected, Misuno started to realize something was off. She looked at me with a concerned look on her face.
“Oh, no! Um, it’s not like there’s anything wrong in particular…”
Unable to answer clearly, I fidgeted and glanced at the books.
Actually, did Misuno seriously not notice!
The title of the book she just read out loud was pretty awkward, you know!
Then,
“… Ah! Broken heart…!”
Misuno placed her hand over her mouth as she spoke. She finally realized.
She was surprisingly dense… Even though normally you’d realize this kind of thing immediately.
“…”
“…”
… Crap!
All of a sudden the atmosphere became uncomfortable! Even though things had been loosening up just recently!
“… Well, um… Next! Let’s continue with the next book!”
“Sure! You’re right…!”
Now that things ended up like this, the only way to recover was by continuing our work!
Calm down! To both me and Misuno! Focus on checking the newly arrived books!
“Um──…’Hello new me”
Clearing her throat, Misuno started reading out the next title.
Oh, did we finally leave the ‘Broken Heart Detective’ zone!?
Was what I hoped, but──
“… ~Broken Heart Detective spinoff~’”
“Just how many of these books did we order!”
The next book included the series name in the subtitle.
I unintentionally cried out loud──
*
──Just like that, we spent several awkward hours together.
“Sigh, we finally finished…”
I could hear the chime of the bell notifying us it was time to leave school.
Misuno and I were sitting behind the library counter.
“Somehow, I feel more tired than usual today…”
“Same here…”
All over my body, fatigue clung to me like heavy mud.
I didn’t have any energy left to fidget, nor did I have the energy to immediately start the cleanup process…
After that, things continued to remain awkward between Misuno and I.
After checking through the new arrivals, we placed the returned books back onto the shelves. We performed our lending and return duties, and cleaned up the library room.
Throughout the entire process, even the slightest brush of our hands or the slightest glance would make my heart flutter.
… By the end of it, I was strangely exhausted. I was so exhausted I wouldn’t be able to stand up anytime soon.
However, in a tone as if she were trying to convince herself, Misuno said,
“Let’s hurry up and clean things up so we can go home. I need to finish my tea too…”
While saying that, she waved a bottle in her hand.
… She had a point. It was almost time for us to leave school, so we couldn’t keep lazing around forever.
Let’s finish cleaning things up and go home…
Then,
“… Ah, hey Misuno!”
I suddenly realized something and raised my voice.
“That’s not tea, that’s a carbonated drink!”
Inside the bottle she held, a brown liquid was bubbling furiously. On the label wrapped around it I could see the words for zero calorie cola. No matter how you looked at it it wasn’t tea.
Now that I looked at it, I could see that the bottle was inflated to the point of bursting… If she opened the lid, it would definitely explode!
“Eh? Ahh crap!”
Looking at her hands, Misuno slumped her shoulders in disappointment.
“I messed up…”
“Hey, hey, what’s up with you…”
It was a rare mistake for Misuno to make. Wasn’t she a little oddly clumsy today?
Well… she does usually drink red tea after all. So she does mix the two up sometimes…
While I was thinking this──
“By mistake… I turned it down3…”
──Misuno said such a phrase.
“Huh… You made a mistake… and turned it down?”
… No, I get it.
I knew she didn’t mean it in that way.
However, in my current state──just hearing that phrase in Misuno’s voice, just hearing something like that caused me immense emotional damage.
On top of that──
“Yes, I didn’t mean to turn it down, I just happened to do it by coincidence…”
“… By coincidence.”
“I turned it down as hard as I could, didn’t I. Well, there’s nothing I can do about it now…”
“Turned it down… as hard as you could…”
Misuno continued the combo innocently.
All of it connected directly with my weak point──dealing me a major blow psychologically.
I was just about on the verge of being knocked out.
I dropped my head, unable to make a sound.
“… Huh?”
After a brief delay, Misuno noticed how I was acting.
Then, after gazing at me curiously for a while,
“… Oh no! I didn’t mean it that way!”
She seemed to finally understand the situation, and tried to explain herself.
However──
“When I said I turned it down, I was referring to the bottle, and not to you, Senpai! Well, I did actually turn you down as well though!”
──In the end, I ended up receiving a blow there as well.
I ended up receiving additional damage on top of what I had already sustained──
*
──Nico and I had just completed a new song.
We were preparing to upload the file onto the video hosting site. I was filling in the video title, summary, thumbnail, and the recommended videos shown at the end.
At first, it took quite a bit of effort to fill in this information, but recently I’d gotten quite used to it. Ever since we decided on a template for it, it became a crisp and easy process.
I looked around… and it had turned completely dark outside the window.
Winter was in full swing, and the sun was setting earlier these days.
The heating in the room was fully functioning, but Nico, who was sitting next to me, seemed a little cold.
“Just like that, today was a complete mess…”
After finishing my report on today’s events, I used the remote control to raise the temperature of the air conditioner two degrees Celsius.
Nico, with a thoughtful expression on her face, folded her arms,
“Sigh, it’s worse than I thought…”
“I wonder why things ended up like this. Seriously, what is Misuno thinking…”
“It really is a mystery. Even from the stream last week, we didn’t manage to learn anything. At this rate, even if you asked her directly, you probably wouldn’t get a straight answer back…”
“That’s right…”
“For the time being, continue listening to the stream each week, that’s the only thing we can do…”
I guess she was right…
As expected, even Nico couldn’t come up with any ideas.
Misuno and I just spent the whole day being awkward around each other after all. It was a little unreasonable to expect Nico to know what to do going forward based off of that…
However,
“Sigh, this is rough. On top of being rejected, I have to go through this every week huh…”
It really was difficult.
Even though I had already received a lot of damage from getting rejected, I still had to keep feeling this anxious huh…
Was this punishment for something bad I did in the past?
Of course, I was going to try my best to put in a little more effort but…
“… Well, thanks to that, you managed to finish our new song.”
As if she sensed my inner turmoil, Nico spoke those words to reassure me.
“Well… you have a point.”
“Even though you had been stuck on the lyrics for so long, you managed to complete them in a week. I think this is a seriously good song. It might even be the best one since ‘Sigh’!”
“I see, it’d be great if that were the case…”
… Certainly, I had a lot of confidence in this new song.
We finished the core of the song a little while ago. It was an upbeat, mid-tempo song that made you feel like dancing, and yet still felt somewhat sad.
However──I just couldn’t come up with the lyrics.
I couldn’t think of any lyrics that suited the song’s vibe, so I was upset I couldn’t finish it.
And then, after a certain event happened, all of a sudden the lyrics started pouring forth.
I projected the feelings currently inside of me into the song and finished it in a flash.
The end result──yeah, I thought we had created a seriously good song.
Just like Nico, I hadn’t had such a good feeling about a song since we created “Sigh”.
I couldn’t wait to see how the viewers would react…
“Alright, with that, the preparations for the upload are complete.”
When the confirmation screen popped up, I turned back to look at Nico.
“Can I upload it?”
Nico quickly reviewed the details and then nodded at me.
“Yup! Please do!”
“Ok!”
I turned back towards the computer and grabbed the mouse.
And then, I murmured a good luck charm that had become a tradition before every upload,
“I hope plenty of people listen to it this time as well!”
──I clicked the mouse button.
A screen saying “Upload in progress” showed for a while, and then──our new song was released.
Just in case, I checked to make sure that the video was being shown at the top of our channel.
After a cursory glance to make sure that the upload didn’t stop halfway and that nothing strange had happened──
“Alright… we’re done!”
──With that, I finally let out a deep breath.
Looking at the clock, it was a little before midnight.
Perhaps it was because we made a bit of small talk, but it ended up taking quite a bit of time…
“Guess we’ll stop here for today. Misuno’s stream will be starting up soon too.”
“You’re right. I’ll also listen to it as I’m preparing to go to sleep.”
Saying this, Nico got up from the chair and left the room.
“Have a good night.”
“Yeah, good night.”
While watching her walk away──I tried pumping myself back up a bit.
That’s right, Misuno’s stream this week would be starting soon. I might discover some kind of hint there.
Although I was exhausted, I was going to try giving it another shot!
I stretched out lazily and opened Misuno’s channel on my smartphone.
*
“──So today was an absolute mess…”
Misuno’s voice was so tired that I could easily tell even through the stream.
“Even though it was all my own fault. But as expected I’m totally exhausted…”
“I see. So Misuno also feels that way…”
I couldn’t help but start laughing as I lay on my bed.
“Well, she did step on so many landmines after all…”
Misuno was usually the type of person to handle her work smoothly. If she made that many mistakes in a row, of course she’d feel depressed.
And she ended up accidentally opening the bottle of cola after that too…
After getting worked up, she unconsciously opened the lid to take a drink, causing the cola to explode in her face.
In the end──her uniform was drenched in cola.
She was half crying and half wiping herself off with a handkerchief. I felt really sorry for her.
Of course, I also lent her a hand to help her clean up, but the psychological damage wouldn’t heal as easily.
“On top of that, I still don’t know the reason why I rejected him… I wonder why. I wonder what I’m hesitating on…”
Misuno continued mumbling.
As if trying to answer her question, the comments started coming in faster. They started speculating on why she rejected me.
“Ahh, thanks for commenting, everyone. ‘Are you scared of going out with him?’ Certainly, that may be a part of it. Like I said before, if we started dating, the distance between us would close. To be perfectly honest I’m a little scared of that…”
“That makes sense. Misuno was scared of that happening before as well.”
“But I thought I had already prepared myself for that. I thought I wanted to leave my shell and get closer to Senpai. That’s why I don’t think that’s the reason why I rejected Senpai…”
Misuno had a point.
I didn’t have any concrete reason for thinking this, but just judging from her attitude, it was hard for me to think that the reason she rejected me was because she was scared.
If that were indeed the case, then Misuno herself would probably be aware of that as well…
“Um, aside from that… ‘Have you fallen out of love with Haseriba-san?’”
“Urgh!”
To be honest──that was something I had been worrying about deep down inside. That because I kept her waiting for a month, her feelings of love towards me had vanished…
I felt… that it was quite possible. Actually, if that were the case it would explain everything quite nicely…
However,
“That’s not the case at all!”
Misuno blurted out.
“That’s not it at all! If anything, I like him even more than before!”
“I’d be happy if that were the case…”
I was relieved to hear that.
To be blunt I was really scared that… she just didn’t like me anymore.
If Misuno went as far as to say that, then the probability of that being the case was probably zero.
More comments from the listeners continued to flow in,
“‘I feel a little sorry for Haseriba.’ Sighh~… You’re right…”
After reading the next comment, Misuno’s tone of voice suddenly dropped.
“I really do feel bad for him…”
Ohh, Misuno seemed really dejected. It seemed like a genuine sadness that wasn’t just being faked for the stream.
… Hmm…
Well, it certainly was rough though.
I spent every day enduring these feelings of unease, but I didn’t think there was anything we could do about it.
As far as I was concerned, I neither blamed Misuno nor wanted her to feel bad.
That’s why I hoped she wouldn’t worry about it too much…
However… once we touched upon this topic, it was impossible to stop.
“‘What if another girl ends up snatching him away in the meantime?’ That would be…!”
After reading such a comment──Misuno’s voice wavered audibly.
After a brief silence, she spoke in a terribly faint and tearful voice,
“… I would hate for that to happen. If he were with another girl, I wouldn’t be able to take it… However… if that happened, I would have no room for complaint. Since I turned him down and all. Senpai has no responsibility to keep loving me forever after all…”
No, no, no, there was no need to be so anxious about it!
It wasn’t like there was another girl I was interested in or got along with!
“In fact, Senpai’s definitely popular. Since he’s kind and all…”
“No, I’m not popular at all though…”
I had a solid track record of being single, with a duration equal to my age…
What basis did she have for thinking I’d be popular…
“‘Teenagers can easily find a new person to love’. Right, you’re totally right. Ughh. Seriously, what should I do…”
I could hear the sound of Misuno plopping her head down on her desk through the phone.
Ah, geez…
She’d totally reached the limit of how much tension she could endure huh…
Her listeners should also go a bit easier on her too…
“… Sorry, I’ve just been talking about myself this whole time. Let’s read some emails.”
Even so… Misuno said that, trying to change the atmosphere somehow.
I could hear the sound of her clicking through the speakers as she searched through her inbox.
… I was really impressed. To think that she’d try to continue streaming even in this kind of a situation. I definitely wouldn’t be able to do something like that.
At times like this, I could really understand why Misuno became a popular streamer.
“Um… Ah, there’s some new emails today as well. Here’s a consultation request from radio name Q-ta-san──”
“… I see.”
While listening to Misuno read out the consultation email, I rested my back against the backrest and once again realized.
“That’s right, Misuno’s also troubled by this…”
For some reason, I had felt like I was the only one suffering.
I had been rejected unexpectedly without even learning the reason why, so I had thought I was the only one suffering.
But… that wasn’t the case.
Even Misuno was troubled by it, and yet she was still trying to uncover the reason why.
While trying her best to keep streaming the way she did before, she was trying to understand her own feelings──
“… If that’s the case, I should also try my best.”
I couldn’t help but laugh a little as I said that.
“Guess I can’t keep feeling sorry for myself forever…”
I was starting to get tired of playing the victim for so long.
“I have to pull myself together now as well.”
*
“Well then, I’m off!”
“Have a safe trip!”
The next morning, as Nico and I walked out the front door, the cool morning air enveloped us.
It was a residential area just after sunrise.
Although I preferred summers over winters, I didn’t hate this feeling of being enveloped by the cold soon after leaving our warm home.
“Phew, it’s gotten quite a bit colder huh.”
“Right. It’s already December after all. It’s about time for winter to begin in earnest.”
As we spoke, I noticed that Nico was shivering slightly and burying her head in a red scarf wrapped around her neck.
“… By the way, about Misuno.”
“Yup.”
A thought struck me and I called out to Nico, who looked at me in response.
“I listened to her stream yesterday… and I also made up my mind. She’s also worrying about what happened, so I wanted to help shoulder the burden. I’m going to wait for her as long as I can, and if there’s anything I can do to help, I’ll do it.”
“Ohh~. What’s up with you suddenly.”
Nico’s eyes were as wide as saucers.
Well, just yesterday I was complaining “Why did this happen…”, so of course she’d be surprised.
“Well… For some reason, I thought it’d be kind of pathetic to keep moping around forever.”
While saying that, I made a bitter smile.
It was a bit late to say this, but I had been pretty pathetic up to this point.
After I was rejected, I bawled my eyes out, played guitar like crazy, and was overly depressed by what Misuno had said.
Yeah, I had been pretty lame, if I did say so myself.
However,
“Even now, she still said that she liked me. That’s why, it’s fine. I made her wait quite a bit after all.”
First of all, I wanted to accept the current situation.
Now that I looked at it, our relationship right now wasn’t that bad.
If she was still saying she liked me, then that was enough.
That’s why, I needed to think about what I’d do from now on.
“It might turn into a prolonged battle though. I’d be happy if you kept helping me from now on as well. I’m counting on you.”
“Hehe, I see.”
Saying this, Nico had a wide grin on her face.
“Nice, way to go. I actually like that part of you quite a bit, Onii.”
“Ohh, it’s rare to get a compliment from you!”
It was a rare genuine compliment from Nico, who was usually quite dry.
Although we were siblings, that honestly made me quite happy, and it made me light on my feet.
*** (Hasegawa Nico)
“Nice, way to go. I actually like that part of you quite a bit, Onii.”
“Ohh, it’s rare to get a compliment from you!”
My brother had an honestly happy expression on his face in reaction to my words.
It’s because you keep acting like this~.
Despite being his little sister, I was still a little worried about him. Even though I was kind of amazed he could still be so carefree, I thought that this earnestness of his was one of his strong points.
That’s why, I wanted to support him as a family member.
“… However, in that case.”
I lowered my voice to a volume that my brother could not overhear.
Because my brother was like this, if he wanted to keep watching over Misuno-chan…
“Should I also… lend them a helping hand?”
*
──That weekend, I was staking out a local bookstore when I spotted my target entering the store.
I stretched my neck out from behind a bookshelf.
“Hmm… 155 cm tall, a thin body, and bobbed hair. Cat-like eyes and a ridiculously cute face… there’s no mistaking it. That girl is Misuno-chan.”
A girl matching the information I had gathered headed straight for the manga aisle. Just like my brother said, it seemed like she had come to buy the new edition of her favorite manga.
… Well, to be honest, I actually already knew what she looked like. I had seen a picture of her on the camera roll of my brother’s phone.
By the way, based on what I had learned from her streams, I gathered that she usually bought books on Saturday mornings. And, just like I thought, I ended up spotting Misuno-chan.
“Now then, it’s time to go…”
While talking to myself, I started walking.
Then, I approached Misuno-chan, who was holding the new volume in her hands with a happy look on her face,
“Whoa!”
“Oops!”
I bumped into her shoulder gently enough that it wouldn’t hurt.
“Ah, sorry for not watching where I was going!”
“Ahh, no problem. I was also spacing out…”
While I apologized frantically, Misuno faced me with a gentle smile on her face.
… Hey wait! Now that I look at her up close she really is cute!
My brother managed to get a girl like this to like him!? What a surprise!
… Wait, now’s not the time to be thinking that!
“Ah, do you like that manga?”
While trying to act casual, I looked at her hand.
“Ah, this?”
Misuno nodded her head.
She flipped through the pages happily,
“Yes, that’s right. I’ve been reading it a lot lately…”
“Wow. I’ve also been obsessed with it lately. What a coincidence!”
Hearing those words──Misuno’s eyes widened.
Then, she stared at me with a happy look on her face,
“… It’s my first time meeting someone else who likes this manga.”
“Same here. That kind of makes me happy, to meet a compatriot by coincidence like this.”
… Good.
Good good good…
I had a good feeling that I had caught her interest.
Misuno’s eyes were as if she were looking at a fellow comrade-in-arms.
She was starting to lower her guard.
──That’s why.
“… That’s right! Since this is such a rare opportunity…”
I glanced at Misuno’s face and suggested with a carefree tone,
“Would you like to… get some tea with me?”
Translator Notes
1. The original greeting is “しゃーっす”, which is an abbreviation of “お願いします” which means something similar to “Looking forward to your continued support”.
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2. The original greeting is “おあざーす”, which is an abbreviation of “おはようございます” which is just good morning/hello.
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3. The original joke is a pun on “振っちゃった” meaning both rejecting someone, and shaking something (the bottle).
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