Sigh1 – Hasegawa Souichi
“Yes… I see. So Misuno changed shifts to another day…”
──Even now, I had difficulty accepting what Tanizaki-sensei had said.
Misuno would… no longer be on the Wednesday shift. She would instead be working with someone on another day’s shift. Another student would be replacing her on Wednesdays, and I’d be working with them from now on.
“… Did the two of you have a fight?”
Tanizaki-sensei gently asked me, as I remained in a daze.
“For example, did the two of you argue over anything…”
“No, not particularly. However, well… she may have thought she was being a nuisance to me.”
“I see… Let’s talk about this more in detail on Monday. I just thought it’d be better to let you know as soon as possible.”
“Very well, that’s fine with me. We’ll talk about it then, so…”
“Ok. Then, see you the day after tomorrow…”
“Goodbye…”
I hung up the call and stared at my phone.
Somehow, it felt like I was in the middle of a dream.
Just a short while ago, Misuno and I were getting along quite well with each other. We had a lot of fun fulfilling our library committee duties together, and even hit it off quite well when we went out together on our day off.
Would all of that end just like this?
Would we no longer work in the library room together…
“Sigh…”
As I sighed, Nico’s voice came from the other side of the door.
“──Onii! I’m coming in!”
“Sure…”
“I overheard your phone call just now! Did you have a fight with Misuno-chan?”
Nico asked energetically as she opened the door.
Although that energy was one of Nico’s good points, it was a little too much for me now.
While raising my eyebrows a little,
“Don’t eavesdrop on other people. And we didn’t even fight…”
“I wasn’t eavesdropping or anything, the walls in our house are just so thin that if you’re nearby, you’ll end up hearing everything. Anyways, Misuno-chan is changing to another day’s shift right? It’s all because you were so cold to her.”
“Well… that’s probably the reason why.”
“So, what are you going to do about it?”
Nico sat down on the bed and looked up at me.
“How are you planning on making up with her?”
“… It’s impossible for me to do that.”
“… Huh?”
“She’s already changed library shifts, so we won’t be able to meet each other anymore… That’s why there’s nothing I can do.”
──That’s right. It had already been decided.
To put it bluntly, there were no opportunities for us to meet again, and I had no way to create such opportunities.
Since that was the case… this would be the end. There was no way for me to make up with her.
However, Nico stared at me and asked,
“Are you seriously saying that?”
“… I am.”
While feeling pressured by the way she said it, and feeling shocked over how rare it was for Nico to take that tone of voice, I repeated my words.
“Also, since this is what Misuno wants, I’m fine with it.”
“… Hmm.”
“… What is it.”
“Although there are a lot of things I’d like to say, I don’t think they’d be very effective right now. That’s why, I’d like to ask you just one thing.”
“… Sure.”
Nico got up from the bed and stood directly in front of me.
“Are you really okay with this?”
She started off by asking that question.
“Do you really think this wasn’t caused by a misunderstanding or mistake, and was instead caused by something unavoidable? In other words… do you think Misuno-chan has an accurate understanding of your feelings?”
“… That’s… Well…”
“You don’t think so right?”
While I was at a loss for words, Nico looked at me.
“Actually, you’ve never told her what you actually thought of her right? Since it’s your first time handling this kind of relationship, you wouldn’t have been able to tell her.”
“… That… might have been the case.”
──Nico was right on the mark.
There was no escaping it, Nico was right. There certainly was a misunderstanding between me and Misuno.
The reason why Misuno went this far was because she mistakenly believed that I found her annoying and was avoiding her.
And──I had not done anything to clear up that misconception.
I never told her what I actually thought of her.
“That’s why you should properly think about if you’re really fine with this, if you’re really ok with letting things end like this. That’s all I wanted to say.”
“… Got it.”
“If there’s anything I can do to help, feel free to ask me. Well then…”
With those parting words, Nico left the room.
After watching the door quietly close,
“… I haven’t told Misuno what I actually thought of her, huh.”
I sat down on the bed and talked to myself.
“That’s… certainly true. But how would I do that now? It’s not like I can talk to Misuno anymore, so how would I…”
All of a sudden… Misuno’s streaming channel popped into my mind.
In this situation, it was the only way I could hear her voice.
I grabbed my smartphone and opened the streaming app. I navigated to the channel for “Saki” and glanced at the list of uploaded videos. There, I found a list of simple thumbnails lined up in a row,
“All of her archived streams are still there…”
Starting from mid-May, there were about half a year’s worth of archived streams. In total, there were more than twenty.
And, in the description, I could clearly see timestamps like “one week ago”, “two weeks ago”, “one month ago”, and “four months ago”…
“She’s been streaming on her own all this time, huh. Talking about the two of us alone…”
That’s what I was realizing now.
Way before I had discovered her channel, Misuno had been streaming like this. She kept talking about love with the listeners who continued to gather…
… Suddenly, I felt like listening to the conversations Misuno had before, and what kinds of streams she had done.
I tapped on the thumbnail of the first stream, the one Saki had done when she first started streaming half a year ago. The title was simple: “A high schooler talking about love”.
After buffering for a short while, the video began playing back.
I thought the background music would start playing as usual, but──
“──Ah, does… Does this mean it’s started?”
“──!”
A voice blasted through the speakers.
The stream began with Misuno’s voice blasting the speakers so hard that the sound started crackling.
“Let’s see… Uh, there are two people watching the stream. I-it’s started… I’m too loud!? Sorry, I’ll lower it right away.”
After a comment pointed that out, Saki hurriedly lowered the volume.
After adjusting the volume for a while, it finally reached a more tolerable level, when comments asking “Where’s the BGM?” started to trickle in.
“Ah, the BGM… I didn’t prepare any… Sorry, I’ll try finding some next time.”
“Looks like she’s struggling a bit. Was this kind of stream really okay…”
Without thinking, I remarked to myself.
It felt like she had just started streaming without making any preparations at all… Normally, you’d do a bit of research before you actually started…
Thanks to the kindness of the commenters, she somehow managed to recover, but I still felt like cringing when I listened to her stream.
“Um… Nice to meet you, I’m Saki.”
She finally seemed to calm down. After a pause, Saki introduced herself.
“This is my first time streaming. I’m a first-year student in high school. To be honest, um… I have someone that I like. I wanted to talk about love with all of you, so I started this stream. I know I’m not very good at this, but thank you in advance──”
“──So she started off like this…”
I finished listening to her first stream. After stopping the stream, I laid down on the bed.
“She seems so used to it now, but she struggled so much at the start…”
In the end, the stream was a mess from start to finish.
For some reason, after rambling about her own crush, Saki began talking about love with the comment section. And in response, the viewers gave proper answers.
Rather than Saki herself, the MVPs of the first stream may have been the viewers instead.
However, strangely enough, Saki’s voice had a unique charm to it throughout the stream. Perhaps it was because of the sound of her voice, or perhaps it was because of her clumsy but sincere manner of speaking. But by the end of the stream twenty minutes later, the two listeners that she had originally started with had grown to four.
“Let’s try listening to a few more streams.”
Before I realized it, I couldn’t stop listening.
After this, what would Saki… what would Misuno talk about? How did she evolve her stream to reach her current setup? I wanted to know all of that…
Fortunately, all of her past streams were still available on the channel.
Let’s try listening to them one by one.
And then──I started replaying them in order from oldest to newest.
“──Today, I managed to talk a lot with Senpai! Ahh, my heart was beating so fast… It’d be great if, from now on, we could talk that much every time──”
“──I suppose I need to decide on the name of this channel. I thought about it a bit but… What do you think of ‘Love Crosses the Night Sky’? Personally, I think it’s the perfect title for talking about love with all of you──”
“──It seems Senpai doesn’t have a girlfriend yet! I’m happy, but… knowing that I actually have a chance makes me nervous──”
“──Hmm, that’s a difficult question… Sigh… Love is difficult to understand, isn’t it. … Hm? The phrase I said just now sounded good? … Uh, you want me to say it every time I stream? That sounds like it’d be a little embarrassing…”
“──’Saki-san, are you getting along with your senpai?’ is the question I just received. About that, we actually argue a lot. I’m not really the type of person that gets along well with other people──”
“──Even so, I want to stay by his side…”
“When I realized that I had started feeling that way, I started to understand. Ahh, so this is what love is, so this feeling I have towards Senpai is love…”
──As I skimmed through the streams, I eventually reached that line.
I stopped playing back the stream and held my head with my hands.
“… Misuno.”
I couldn’t help but start to realize.
After playing back Misuno’s streams and listening to her voice──I started to realize.
That’s right, I…
Actually, towards her…
“… There’s no way I’m fine with things ending like this! Shit…!”
I jumped up like a bullet being fired out of a gun.
That’s right, I couldn’t let things remain like this. I couldn’t let our connection end in such a sorrowful manner.
And──if that was how I felt, if that was what I wanted, then I needed to man up.
This time, it was my turn to show Misuno that I could move forward.
Even the method of doing so… was something I had known all along!
I flung open the door and stood in front of Nico’s room next door.
“Nico! Sorry! I have a favor to ask of you!”
“Hm? What’s up?”
Nico had a dubious look on her face.
Of course she’d be surprised if I asked her for a favor all of a sudden.
That’s why──I’ll get straight to the point.
“Right now… I want to complete the song we’ve been working on recently!”
“Uh… sure.”
Nico, looking even more puzzled, raised her eyebrows.
“I haven’t finished the lyrics yet though? I can’t really think of anything that’d be a good fit…”
“About that… Can you let me write the lyrics this time?”
“You want to write them!?”
“Yeah.”
I nodded clearly at Nico, whose eyes were as wide as saucers.
“What’s wrong!? You seem to be in quite the rush. This is the first time you’ve wanted to write song lyrics…”
“… I think of Misuno as someone important to me, as someone special to me.”
I told Nico honestly.
When I watched the archived streams, I felt it once again.
I finally realized my unwavering feelings.
“The time we spent together was so much fun, and I was really happy… Yeah. She was the first one to make me feel like that. I want to… properly tell her that. I want Misuno to understand that. I think music is the only way I can do that.”
If I tried to convince her using my words alone, I probably wouldn’t reach her.
After all that had happened, there was no way she would believe me after just a simple conversation.
In that case──I had a trick up my sleeve.
Music had always been something that I had kept hidden. However, deep down inside I was confident that it would be my trump card.
“──That’s why.”
I continued talking to Nico.
“I need your help! I want you to help me finish the song!”
Until now, I had shown Nico many lame sides of me.
On top of that, this request of mine may have been too selfish.
However, even so──to create the song, I needed Nico’s help.
That’s why, I lowered my head.
“Please, Nico!”
“I see… I see.”
Nico said, as if deep in thought.
And then──
“That’s great, what a wonderful reason!”
Nico said, with a big smile on her face.
It was almost as if she had been waiting for me to say that this entire time. Her face seemed revitalized, as if a knot inside her heart had finally been undone.
“Let’s get started, we’ll definitely make something great!”
“Thank you! Then…”
While saying that, I reached my hand out to Nico──and shook her small hand firmly.
“Looking forward to it!”
*
──As always, we started working on the song in my room. However, today the atmosphere and process were different from usual.
First of all──I was the one writing the lyrics.
Since we had started composing music, that had always been Nico’s responsibility. Part of it was because I was too embarrassed to do it, and part of it was because Nico had a good sense for it, so it had always been like that until now.
However… this time, I’d be writing lyrics in my own words.
That would be the first big challenge facing us,
“So yeah, I laid down on the grass… It was pure bliss. It was so bright and warm…”
“Hehe… When you laid down on the grass, was that with Misuno by your side?”
“Yeah, she was lying down by my side.”
As the first step in our process, I was writing down song lyrics in a notepad on my computer with Nico’s advice.
“And then… ah, that’s right. We said things like ‘Lying down like this, I feel like I could soar through the sky right now’.”
“Ahh, what a great line, let’s add that in as well.”
… Unexpectedly, the words kept flowing smoothly out of my mouth.
Nico’s advice was probably right, and the theme this time was my personal experiences and feelings, so there wasn’t any point in trying to glamorize it. I simply focused on writing down how I honestly felt.
Thanks to that──
“… Okay, it’s all done, what do you think?”
“Yeah… I think it’s great! Both the melody and content sound great!”
──The lyrics, which I also thought were quite good, were completed well ahead of schedule.
For now, I could breathe a sigh of relief that we had cleared the first hurdle.
──However, the lyrics weren’t the only thing that was different from normal.
This would also be… the first time I showed my music to someone outside of my family.
Rather than my sister Nico, I intended to let Misuno listen to this song.
And… that wasn’t all. There was something else that I was thinking about. A clearer way for me to step forward, and a way for me to overcome the walls that had frightened me so far.
With that in mind, I put a lot of effort into the recording session that followed──
“… Alright, wasn’t the one just now pretty good?”
After playing through several takes, I stopped playing and looked at Nico, who nodded seriously.
“Yup, I think you played beautifully. I think we can use it.”
“Thanks. But just in case, let me listen to it once.”
I proceeded to replay the recording, while analyzing it with a much stricter eye than before. I wanted to remove as much of the rhythm deviation, choked pitch, and slight muddiness of sound as I could now.
At the same time, I checked the backing tracks2, which had already been added, one more time.
When I added the guitar, there were some parts where the sound overlapped, and some sections that got a bit cluttered. I gradually made adjustments until I was satisfied and finished recording my part.
“──Okay. All of the guitar parts are done. Let’s start recording the vocals.”
While saying this, I looked up at the clock on the wall,
“… Ah, before that, want to eat dinner?”
Before I realized it, it had already passed 7:00 PM. Usually we would start eating dinner around this time.
Now that I realized it, I certainly did feel a little hungry.
However──
“Nah.”
Nico said, while shaking her head.
“I’m in a good mood, so I’d like to do as much as I can!”
“… I see.”
In that case, we should continue recording!
In my experience, a person’s mood had a great impact on the output of the recording.
This was especially true for singing. If you were in a good mood, even changes in rhythm and pitch sounded pleasant, so it was better to ride the momentum and continue.
“Okay, then I’ll go get the mic ready!”
“Yes, please do!”
And then──without having dinner, we finished recording the song without incident.
We were able to record an amazing vocal track. Nico’s voice was perfect in terms of both range and expression. Her high, sweet-sounding voice added a gentle touch to the melody.
“… How was it? Even when I listened to it with headphones on, didn’t it seem like the vocals were being buried?”
“Maybe a little bit… it could be that the rhythm was too pronounced. On the other hand, I think it might be good if we emphasized the guitar a bit more.”
“Okay, I’ll try adjusting it.”
Finally, the two of us started mixing the sound together.
We listened to the music over and over again, experimenting with volume, positioning, equalization, and timbre.
Although our bodies began to tire, our minds remained clear. And although it felt like we were floating through the air, our senses remained sharp. It was a strange sensation.
While taking occasional breaks to rest our eyes, we checked the music over and over again──
“… Phew. Looks like we’re done.”
“Seems like it…”
──By the time we completed our work, it was late at night.
It was almost time for a new day to begin.
“… Are we all set?”
Nico asked, shifting her gaze from the display to me.
“Was there anything you forgot or wanted to work on a bit more?”
The exhaustion on Nico’s face was palpable.
… Well of course that’d be the case.
We had been working on this song nonstop since noon. On top of that, she had sung for more than an hour in our recording sessions, so there was no way she wouldn’t be tired.
Even so… I could still see a bright sparkle in her eyes.
I could clearly see that she was excited about the song we were completing──
“Nope. In fact… Yeah, I think it’s really good.”
I stated that clearly.
“I think it properly got my feelings across.”
… Yeah, there was no mistaking it.
I was able to express myself with this song.
The things I couldn’t tell Misuno, the things I wanted her to understand──I was able to bring them to life.
“Hehehe… I also agree.”
And then, Nico narrowed her eyes with a mischievous glint,
“I see, so this is the place that’s important to you…”
“When you put it that way, it’s a little embarrassing…”
“… Don’t worry, Onii. I’m sure you’ll get your feelings across to her.”
Nico told me suddenly, with a kind look on her face.
“I’m sure that how much you care about her will definitely get through to Misuno-chan.”
“… Thank you. I hope that’ll be the case.”
… That’s right, that was the problem.
The two of us created something great, packed full of my feelings.
However──whether that would reach Misuno was a separate question entirely.
For that reason, there were still some things I needed to think about and do. You could even say that this would be where the real battle starts.
However,
“Okay, let’s listen through it once.”
Saying this, I moved the mouse once again.
“… Sure. Ahh, I’m so nervous.”
“Same…”
However, in spite of my nervousness… I still wanted to listen to the song right now.
The song that Nico and I just created was probably our best work yet, and I wanted to savor it right now with just the two of us.
“Then… Here goes!”
“Yeah!”
I pressed the play button on the music production software.
After a short pause, the song began with my guitar.
And then, I suddenly remembered.
… That’s right, the day I came up with that musical phrase… was the night I stumbled upon Misuno’s stream.
──The day this song began… was the day my relationship with Misuno changed──
Translator Notes
1. This is also the title of the song Neko Hacker wrote as the theme for this series. YouTube link
2. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Backing_track Recorded tracks used to enhance a performance. In this case they only have a singer and a guitarist, so they might add e.g. drum tracks.
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